See below to download a presentation on Grief which includes the 4 Tasks of Mourning grief model. The intended audiences are teachers, administrators, and school counselors. Please feel free to tailor for your needs. Helping Students (and yourself) in Grief Helping Student's (and yourself) in Grief - PDF version 4 Tasks of Mourning Grief Model
Your Values represent what's important to you in life. Knowing your Values helps you understand what drives you, what you enjoy, what inspires you & what you'd like more of. By building a life & lifestyle around our values we create a life that is satisfying and meaningful to us. Some of your Values might change over time, and deepen as you understand yourself better - they are always moving. Download the Values List below now to reflect on the Values that you currently hold as well as the Values you wish to. When your values are clear to you, making decisions becomes easier. -Roy E. Disney What are your Values Worksheet
It is oftentimes helpful for those who are Grieving and working toward Grief Healing to learn and adopt a framework for their Grief. There are many Grief theories, and I imagine I've studied quite a few. J. William Worden's Four Tasks of Mourning happens to be the one that resonates with me the most and what I teach. The idea of Tasks is different than the idea of Stages, and it's an important difference so hang in with me. Stages imply a linear path to healing; I start in Step One, accomplish that and move onto Step Two, accomplish that and move on, and so forth. Never do I revisit stages, so once I'm on Stage Three, I would
In a recent Grief Workshop, we talked about how we Manage Grief. No one needs to tell you that Grief is an up-and-down roller coaster thru the middle of your life. There are some good and OK moments and days. There are many times you struggle to put one foot in front of the other. (And, when you have those moments, sit down! Breathe, and sit down.) So, what exactly can you to do to manage Grief? Just like there are a myriad of ways we can practice self-care (Manicures & Naps, right?), there are a number of positive and healing tools to help you manage your grief. To me the idea is that you work to create
One of my favorite Mantras is to begin with the end in mind popularized by late author Stephen R. Covey whch is about the idea that you envision in your mind what your eyes cannot yet see. This intentional visioning of who you want to be and what you want your life to look like empowers you to create a clear destination. When you don't know where you're going and how you're going to get there, you'll definitely get somewhere... by default and not by intention. Beginning a new calendar year can be a powerful time to hit the Reflect Button so you can create a solid vision as you move quickly into 2018. The impact of using these ideas in your life as a Griever can be profound! Committing
How are you taking gentle care of yourself today on your grief journey? Pause for a moment and think of the real ways you are investing in YOU. Oftentimes we stay fully invested in the business of life & grief and neglect the restorative, healing work that our hearts long for. We avoid the work because it is like a wound, painful to touch. No one can promise that healing work is pain-free - it's just not - yet I can assure that despite the pain, healing is worth it. In this moment make the investment in you - - - take several deep breaths and repeat these phrases, gently and lovingly to your heart: May I be safe
I'm pleased to introduce you to our new private grief support Facebook Group. To help provide grievers a private online community to find support and offer support to others, I've created a closed Facebook group. Only members of the Facebook Group will see what you post! The Facebook Group offers more timely support when you most need it. It is our growing community for grief support using social media that many of us use daily. There is no doubt we can find much healing comfort in sharing our stories and our experiences with others. And just as important is our abilities to listen to others. I hope to meet with you there! And, remember, check out other ways to
Have you heard of Complicated Grief? I really hadn’t until I began educating myself on loss and grief. And, really, isn’t all grief complicated, messy, unpredictable and like nothing else you’ve ever experienced?
Understanding a few of the key differences between grief and depression is important for yourself or when trying to support someone we care about.
Not long ago I was contacted by a woman who had recently lost a close family member to a drug overdose. She asked what I recommend that might help the young person’s mother. Below is part of my reply. I’m posting in hopes it is helpful to others as well. ….Two actions to take after a loss:
Believe when I tell you that there is no such thing as grief stages. Grief stages implies that we live in Stage 1 for a bit and then we move on to Stage 2 and onward with NO going back, moving around, falling out, and living in-between. If only Grief were this simple and straight-forward. It’s just not.
Today we announced Project Sofia in honor of our joyful Sofia! Sofia's class is graduating 8th grade this year, and to honor Sofia's joyful and generous spirit, each student was given a $100 bill to use to help someone - or many someones - smile in anyway they choose. Our only request is that they share how their $100 was used by the end of the summer. This really will be the last time that we will have Sofia's class together as they are all heading different directions for high-school and then to life! We wanted to do something special and continue to pass on Sofia's joyful spirit and her trademark "smiles are for free." What better way to
Today I had the honor of working with a 1st grade class on coping with hurt feelings as outlined in the Feelings Lesson Plan.When we talked about the healthy things we can do when our feelings are hurt or when we are angry or sad, their answers ranged from “Take a nap” (my favorite) to “Jump on my trampoline.” We used a balloon to demonstrate what happens to our hurt feelings when we don’t let them go in a healthy way – – – we can pop! The answers are all within us – no matter how young we are. It’s only a matter of being open to being guided to find them and listen to them. Kids
According to the Guardian News Report, the top five regrets of the dying are: I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard. I wish I had the courage to express my feelings. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. I wish that I had let myself be happier. Bronnie Ware, a brave Australian nurse, counseled dying people and recorded their “dying epiphanies.” (Ware wrote her observations into the book, The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying.)
Did you know – *7 out of 10 teachers have a student currently in their classroom who is grieving. This is incredible – but I bet if you asked a teacher, they already know it. Children are so often the forgotten mourners and I believe strongly that they can experience hope and healing when they have the opportunity to grieve in the supporting presence of others who share the same pain. – Gary McWhorter Author Gary McWhorter states it perfectly! Our children are easily forgotten in the midst of grieving. They grieve in their own unique ways just as adults do, and they need special attention and focus. I so strongly believe that if we successfully offer grief
Not surprisingly, the impact of grief is hard on both adults and children. When a child loses a loved one for a myriad of different reasons – death, incarceration, or divorce to name a few – the loss may have a profound effect on the rest of his or her life. Child grief is expressed differently from adult grief. Generally speaking, children tend to move in and out of intense feeling rather than sustaining high levels of specific emotions for long duration. We may see a grieving child laughing and playing and think that the child’s grief is over. This misperception may limit our ability to support a grieving child.
Out of the numerous harmful myths about grief, the myth of closure has to be one of the most common. If we are grieving, how many times were we told at the funeral that now we have closure and can get on with life? As if a funeral magically stops the hurt. The idea that closure exists – out there somewhere – puts us on an endless search. We don’t know what it looks like or what it will feel like, we just know we must have it. And if we don’t find it quick enough there is something wrong with us! We believe, as everyone tells us, that once we have it, our grief ends. And, if
Grief solitude is real! Grief is lonely. It’s not enough that the depths of grief can knock you to your knees in both mental anguish and physical pain, it’s profusely isolating. After losing my daughter in 2010, I could never seem to find the words to accurately describe how I was feeling. So, I simply said nothing. Despite my loved ones desperately wanting to support me, I just couldn’t talk.
One of the most challenging parts of the grief journey is that the sorrow can become so tightly bottled up inside us that even when we want, need, must let it out, we don’t know how. The danger is that we continue day by day, never letting it release, until we are so, so broken. Consider that you can use creativity to express your grief – even if you don’t consider yourself “creative.” Just as there are infinite feelings we experience in our grief, there are so many ways that your originality can help express and release your sorrow. And none of them require an art degree.
Some days the weight of grief is heavier than other days, and on those days, you just want to roll up in a tight ball in a dark corner, can’t speak, and let the tears flow and pour. And you don’t wake up from sleep thinking that it’s going to be one of those days; it just comes and hits usually from nowhere expected. The painful and tragic what-ifs and the should-haves consume your thoughts and for a while you live in the past when you were naïve and foolishly believed bad things happen to other people never to you. Those are the easy days you long for because today you know all too well that your entire world can crash around you in